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My sixteenth birthday is fast approaching and we all know what thatmeans? Well I know what it means, but apparently Mrs. Meyer has adifferent idea, surgery to complete my journey from boy to girl.Sixteen is the time for a teen to finally get a license to drive, nothave surgery to change one's sex. I know there are a few girls who havehad their surgery at sixteen, but I don't want to be one of them. To beperfectly honest, when Gloria suggested the operation, I felt violated."Amanda, you're going to turn sixteen in a few months and I've lookedinto having surgery to complete your journey to Amanda. You certainlyhave the money for the operation and there's no reason for you to put itoff until you're eighteen," she said, on one of the rare days I was ableto spend time with Cindy.My mouth fell open at what she said, even Cindy was shocked by hermother's statement."Mom, how can you say such a thing?" I'm just trying to do what's best for Amanda. If she has the operation,she will no longer. You get that at little league games and parent/teacher conferences all the time. What had made this particular day so rough was the deafening silence. It was accompanied by the kind of catatonic listlessness that could suck the love right out of you as you helplessly watched a young girl teeter on the brink between a life-long series of nightmares and fears or of taking the beginning steps in the long process of mental recovery. That is, if you can call what a woman's life becomes after being on the receiving end of a brutal sexual assault a 'recovery.' I had looked helplessly into vacant eyes that just yesterday had been full of sparkle and hope and more than a touch of mischief, now dulled without a glimmer of life or vitality.I lay sleepless in bed with Sally, my girlfriend of about 18 months after that seemingly endless night at the hospital, of filling out medical forms, insurance forms, police forms, and so on. Everybody wanted details. I shuddered to think of all the closet.
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